First, the growth of the fable: Always make a
an apple tree apple tree growth, and finally the result was.
The first year, which end up with 10 apples, 9 were taken away, they receive a . In response, angry apple trees, so from the off, in turn, refused to grow. The next year, it bears a five apples, four were taken away, they receive one. This year get 20%! doubled. months, they receive 10.
likely, it was taken away 99, they receive one. but it does not matter, it can continue to grow the fruit of the third year-end 1000 hh
fact, how much fruit not the most important. The most important thing is the tree to grow! other apple trees grow into towering trees, those who have hindered its growth will be weak to negligible power. really, do not worry so much about the fruit, the growth is the most important.
psychological Comments you are not a has been broken since the meridians of the migrant workers?
just started work, you talented, high-spirited, I believe that Sap quickly knock you a few, perhaps, you made a great contribution for the unit that no one seriously; perhaps, but not only by verbal emphasis on affordable; may hh short, you feel like the apple tree, it bears enjoy the fruit of only a small fraction of their own, and falls far short of your expectations.
So, you are angry, upset you, do you grumble hh the end, you decide not to work so hard, to do to match their own income. a few years past, as you reflect on that now you have not just the work of passion and talent of the time.
has stopped grown.
such stories abound around us.
why make such mistakes, because we forget that life is a journey, a whole, we think we have grown over, Now is the time of the fruit. We too care about temporary gains and losses, and forget the most important growth.
Fortunately, this is not a Jin Yong novel of self-off passages. We stand ready to give up this , continue to move toward growth path.
Remember: If you are a working group, met do not understand management, management or error management brutal boss or corporate culture, then, to remind ourselves about, do not disgruntled because of the anger and the Since the break meridians. No matter what, have to do the apple tree will never grow because you always grow important than how much money each month.
Second, the motives of allegory: Children playing in whom
group of children frolicking in front of an elderly, sounds a great deal. A few days past, the elderly unbearable.
So he came out to 25 cents for each child, said to them: become very busy, I feel a lot younger, this money gratitude. points. He explained that he had no income, only .15 cents less for some it can also, children are still happily away.
the third day, the old man gave only 5 cents for each child. < br> children with rage, Who is the two kinds: internal motivation and external motivation. If the internal motivation to act in accordance with, we are masters of their own. If we are driven by external motivation, we will be swayed by external factors, be a slave to it.
in this parable in the elderly is very simple calculation, he will the internal motivation of the children So also manipulate the behavior of the children. fable old, a lot like your boss, boss? and cents, like not like your wages, bonuses and other kinds of external rewards?
as the external evaluation as a reference frame, our emotions can easily fluctuate. because we can not control external factors, it is easy to deviate from our internal expectations, let us dissatisfied, let us grumble. dissatisfaction and complaints and other negative emotions Let us pain, to reduce the pain, we had to reduce the internal expectations, the most common method is to reduce the work effort.
A person can form an external evaluation system, the most important reason is that parents like to control him. parents too fond of using the verbal rewards and punishments, material incentives and other control children, not to ignore the child's own motivation. Over time, the children have forgotten their original motives, what are the external evaluation of care. school, he has forgotten the original study mmm curiosity and learning motivation happiness; work, he forgot to work the growth of primary motivations mmm happy, supervisors and income fluctuations in the evaluation of his work has become the largest source of pleasure and pain.
Remember: External evaluation system is often a family history, but you can break it, from now on cultivating their own internal evaluation system, to study and work into a piece of paper folded 51 times
Imagine your hands are a big enough white. Now, your task is to fold it 51 times. So, How high is it?
a refrigerator? floor? or a skyscraper so high? not, a big change, the thickness more than the distance between Earth and the Sun.
Psychological Review】 【
to now, I get asked this fable a dozen, only two people said that this may be less than the height of an imaginary, while others think that is a maximum height of skyscrapers so high.
51 times the height of such a collapse of terror, but if White is only the 51 stacked it?
the contrast was shocking to many people. because there is no direction, lack of planning in life, like the 51 White simple stacked. doing this today tomorrow little bit of that, every time there is no link between efforts. In this way, even if each job is done very well, they have your whole life is nothing but a simple superposition.
course life is more complicated than this fable. Some people, life finds a simple direction and firmly to do so, they reached the other end of life unattainable level. For example, a friend of my direction in life is English, he spent efforts more than a decade, the amount of memory of the word only reached ten million and more, at this point to reach the average person can not match the height.
also some people who have very clear direction in life, such as opening the company to do the boss, so they need a lot of skills mmm professional skills, management skills, communication skills, decision-making skills and so on. They may try doing this in the beginning, and try doing that, none is particularly proficient, but in the end , start a company in this direction will be before the boss of these seemingly scattered together the efforts of integration, which is a complex folding of life, rather than a simple superposition.
Remember: the invisible visible power than more useful strength.
now, the popular place to find the answer from the unseen, such as the potential development, such as Success, that we rely on some miracle of life can be saved. However, in my opinion, Counseling Center, Dongguan Heng Yuan consultant Mao Zhengjiang more correctly, ; shadow really hate! will see that the shadow of their own crazy.
However, Tom and Toby finally have found their own solutions. Tom is always close their eyes. Toby's approach is always to be In the shadow of other things.
Comments】 【mental note of this fable, a little mental problem is how to become more psychological problems.
can say that all psychological problems are derived from the distortion of the facts . What facts? mainly suffering that our negative events.
because of the pain experience, we do not want to face the negative events. However, once occurred, negative events that is destined to be accompanied by our lives, we can do up to suppress them but to go into the subconscious, which is the so-called forgotten.
However, their subconscious will still continue to play a role. And, even if we have forgotten the facts again severe, the pain accompanying these facts will still attack us, let's somehow sad, and can not be suppressed. the pain further our efforts to escape.
development to the end, the usual solution is to these two: or, we, like kittens, like Tom, completely distorting their own experience of life in all the important facts are ignored negative; or, we, like kittens, like Toby, simply join their suffering to all of their things were very bad, since everything is so bad, that make their most sad event is not so original pain.
clouds mental hospital consultant, said Li Ling, 99% of drug users had a painful experience. they are the reason drugs is to allow yourself to escape the pain. It's like hide in shadows, the painful truth is a devil, the devil in order to avoid this, simply to sell more of the devil himself.
many adult alcoholics, They have been an alcoholic and abusive father, father survive a lot of torture. to forget the pain, they learn the same way.
addition to these tangible wrong way, we humans have invented numerous species of all kinds of ways to escape suffering, Freud referred to as psychological defense mechanisms of these methods. too painful, these defense mechanisms is necessary, but worse, if the distortion of the facts of psychological defense mechanism is so intense, It will bring out the more psychological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder, multiple personality, and even schizophrenia.
really only one way to reach health mmm face the pain. face the pain of the people will get from the pain many surprises, they will eventually become the life of the party of wealth.
Remember: shadow and light,UGG boots, as are the wealth of life.
one of the most important psychological law is, no matter how painful, you is no escape. you can only go to face up to it and resolve it, beyond it, and it finally reached a settlement. If you own a temporary shortage of power, you can find help, find friends and relatives for help, or find professional help , so that the person you trust to go with you face these painful things.
American psychologist Rogers was the most lonely person, but when he and resolve to face this fact, he become a real interpersonal relations guru; American psychologist Frank has a brutal and alcoholic stepfather and a bad mother, but when he challenges the fact and, ultimately, from the heart to forgive his parents, he became an expert in this area treatment; Japanese psychologists Morita horse was being serious neurological disorder, but he challenges the fact and finally through the invention of Morita therapy hh their most painful fact of life eventually became their most important asset. you can do the same .
five action fable mm crabs, owls and bats
crabs, owls and bats to cram on the habit. a few years later, they graduate and obtain a doctorate. However, the crab is still rampant, the owl is still activities during the day and sleep at night, bats are still hung upside down.
【Comments】 This is a psychological master Huang Yongyu a fable, and its meaning is simple: action more important than knowledge.
used in mental health, this fable is also thought-provoking.
called profound knowledge of psychology. However, the more even the best knowledge of psychology help a person does not automatically become more healthy. Actually, I know some people who had studied psychology for many years, they Psychology One of the aims is to rule themselves, but have learned so many years later, their problem remains.
reason why this happens, a very important reason is, they do not personally, just far away as the knowledge of knowledge, knowledge is not into their own life experience.
one of my friends like psychology, has been considered less sensitive than those of psychology, not for psychology. But the fact is that speculation is not correct. He is not sensitive enough, but he has a very big advantage: to know a good knowledge immediately in their own lives to do it. In this way, the knowledge that becomes a distant real life experience, he does not understand a different kind of meaning: Do not expect too much the magic of the mysterious psychological treatment. The most important force is always in your own body, the mysteries of knowledge, the potential development of mysterious, dazzling success and so forth, are far inferior to your own body has been Some of the important forces. We used to go outside to find the answer to someone else looking for strength, the results have forgotten the power in themselves.
Remember: other people's knowledge can not save you automatically.
impressed if some punch renju you, if some text or a new creed inspired you. Well, these other people's words and experience are just the beginning, more importantly, a good knowledge you think you really use in your own life to go.
Jewish philosopher Martin. Buber's words, I have always considered the most important: you'll have to start. If you do not love to go deep in a positive life, if you do not act for themselves in their own way to reveal the existence meaning, then for you, life will remain meaningless.
six, giving up Fable:
bees and flowers withered roses, the bees are still hard suck, because it previously from the flower too sweet to suck on. But now in this little to spend, the bees suck the venom. bees know this, because the venom bitter taste is the big difference with the previous. So, the bees anger, however, breathe on it the whole world looked up to complain about, why the taste changed?! Finally one day, do not know why, bee vibrating wings, fly a little higher. At this time, it found, withered roses around the flowers everywhere. < br> Comments】 【psychological
this is about the fable of love, a young language teacher is the true sentiment. There was a time, she was falling out of love, painful, and always wanted to talk about me and I hope my psychology Knowledge can give her some help. We have some time, but almost two months later, the total time they can not happen to get together. the last time about her, she said: . honey. that moment, her mind like thunder and lightning appeared in one sentence: was such a silly man, she's the bees in this sentence refers to her own course. that moment, her insight to give up the truth out. In the past, she wanted me to help her out, but in fact, the long wings in her own body, she fly can fly.
give up is not easy to give up love, especially painful. because love is when our young copy of parent-child relationship. young children, no matter from which side, are inseparable from On Mom and Dad. If a complete denial of his father and mother, and that means death for him, this is the ultimate injury and fear. We have experienced more or less been denied parents the pain and fear, so When love mmm copies of this parent-child relationship once again we experience the pain and fear, our emotions can easily become very bad.
However, compared to love and parent-child relationship, there is a huge difference: a child, nothing we can do, all parents have the final say; But now we grow up, we have the power to choose their own destiny. can be said that a child, we do not have wings, bee, but now, we have a pair of powerful wings.
However, when deeply in love, we will return to childhood, we forget that they have a pair of wings to fly. and so we ourselves realize that, the love is no longer parent-child relationship is automatically replicated, our love was free, there is the power to give up.
Remember: Love is two things, two completely equal, there are things that people independent personality. You can work, but not that hard for you there will be results, because another person, you can not determine.
So, no matter how much you care about the time love, if another person determined to leave you, please respect choice. And also remember, you are no longer childhood, are left with the pain of torture. you have adults, you have a pair of powerful wings, you can fly out of a relationship has become poison.
Seven, an intimate allegory: a unique rose
Little Prince has a small planet, the planet suddenly had a tender and beautiful roses blooming. In the past, unknown on this planet only a few flowers, the little prince never see had such a beautiful flower, and he fell in love with this rose, carefully nurtured her. that for some time, he thought, this is a unique flower on earth, only his only planet, other places do not exist . But now that he came to Earth and found that there is a garden just the same as 5000 of this flower. At this time, he knows, he is just an ordinary flower there. At first, this finding, so the little prince was very sad. But in the end, the little prince to understand, although there are many roses in the world, but his planet tis is still unique because that rose, he had water, cover flowers to cover her , sheltered behind the screen too, in addition to her body caterpillars, but also to listen to her grumbled, or boasted, hh silence listening to her words, and he tamed her, and she tamed him, she is his unique roses.
> This is a French classic beautiful, but you are empty, no one can die for you. is due to the proliferation of networks of one-night stand.
we anxious to have. like that, each has had a rose, the value of their own lives to Duoleyifen. the Internet age, with several ten lover, has been is no longer a rare thing too. But I know who these promiscuous, no one is empty. they do not enjoy the relationship, they just enjoy the conquest. No more interest. interest. the stronger the desire to conquer, the faster the rate of loss. They are almost the level of commitment and the extent of being tamed. When two people are naturally going into, naturally, be tamed, the relationship will become a life nourishment, so that a person's life becomes more filling and better.
However, no matter how close. The Little Prince is still Prince, Rose is still a rose, they are still two individuals. If Rose let the little prince travel, or the little prince will travel non-roses with me, both must To stick together, the relationship is no longer enjoy, but will become a burden.
Remember: both a close and mutually independent relationship, the relationship is better than a thousand general. This relationship will bring us incorrigible sense of loneliness from rescue, the most important in our lives a salvation.
if never experienced before, you can not know the beauty of this relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment